Hogwarts and Gargoyles reads the books
by Immortal Wolf Lover
Summary: Why the hell not? Rated M for suggestive themes, implications, crude humor, and Language. Major AU Crossover and Bashing on Ginny Ron Molly and Dumbles fifth year
1. Not dead as belived

Gargoyles and Hogwarts Reads

By: Sybil Henninger

(It just had to be done sometime right? So why not me? AU and Crossover. Fourth year, Umbitch, and Bashing Oh My!)

"Thank you all for coming. As for why we are here we have made seven books on Mr. Harry Potter that we would like for everyone to read. These books can show us how he had managed to enter his name into the cups as well as give us a fairly accurate prediction as to how high his survival rates are in the tournament. We will wait ten minutes for everyone to get settled and eat dinner. By that time the families of the Tri-Wizard Champions should be here as well as the witnesses from the ministry." Cornelius Fudge, the English Minister of Magic, said after everyone had arrived in the Great Hall with a pink clad woman known as Dolores Umbridge by his side with a sickly sweet smile as a messy black haired fourteen year old boy named Harry Potter groaned before banging his head on the table. Harry raised his head and looked up at the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall before groaning again, getting many confused, worried, or weird looks from everyone else.

Four minutes until sunset and there was a bright light in the Great Hall that made everyone close their eyes and draw their wands. When the light faded there were several people and several stone gargoyle statues in the center of the Hall.

"What the bloody hell?" A woman with wild red hair asks with a slight British accent as she uncovers her eyes and looks around confused while most males gaped at the small loincloths that barely covered her 'unmentionables'.

"LILY!" Most of the Hogwarts staff shouts in surprise and shock when they got a good look at the red headed woman. The woman looked at the staff and her eyes widened comically while the other people in the group looked at her curiously.

"Aw hell." The red head said before she was tackled by a black blur that knocked her to the ground.


	2. Introductions and revealations

Gargoyles and Hogwarts Reads

By: Sybil Henninger

(It just had to be done sometime right? So why not me? AU and Crossover. Fourth year, Umbitch, and Bashing Oh My!)

"Aw hell." The red head said before she was tackled by a black blur that knocked her to the ground. The black blur turned out to be 'Harry' who had tackled the red head in a flying hug with a wide dazzling grin on his face. The woman laughed at 'Harry' before wiggling slightly.

"It's great to see you too, Mort, but can you get off of me now?" The red head asks smiling down at the black haired teen who nodded before jumping off of the red head that calmly stood up and brushed herself off with a smile still on her face.

"Ah. It's good to see you again young Mort." A bluish-green skinned woman with long red hair, pointed ears, and leaf green eyes says sounding amused by what had just transpired.

"And you as well, Queen Titania." 'Harry' said suddenly polite and respectful as he gave the elven like woman a bow of respect.

"Hello young Mort. It is an honor to see you again, especially since you still have such wonderful manners." A tall muscular blue skinned man with long white hair, pointed ears, and sharp black eyes says his lips twitching slightly at the scene.

"It is also an honor to see you again as well, Lord Oberon." 'Harry' said not noticing that every pureblood, and several half-blood, witches and wizards pale at the name of the strange looking man as he bowed deeply to the man.

"While your manners are incredible, how many times must we tell you that you don't need to use them on us? You are family, Mort. There is no reason for you to be so formal." The woman identified as Titania said looking both amused and sad at 'Harrys' attitude around them.

"Sorry Grandma. Old habits die hard." 'Harry' said scratching the back of his neck sheepishly after rising from the bow.

"It's alright Mort. Being polite is a very good habit for you to have but you don't need to use it on family." A tall woman with slightly tan skin, long auburn hair, and bright green eyes says smiling at him with a four year old boy with a tuft of orangish blond hair and green eyes in her arms.

"Mort!" The four year old squealed happily as he reached out to the raven haired teen.

"Hey there Alex. Have you been a good little guy for your parents and our grandparents?" 'Harry' asks the four year old as he floats from the auburn haired womans arms to 'Harrys'.

"Of course! Can I have a story and some candy?" Alex asks as innocently as he could muster making 'Harry' laugh.

"Hey Aunty Fox, Uncle ."'Harry' said grinning when the stiff blond haired man spun around in an increasingly fast circle till he turned into a floating male with slightly pale skin, long starch white hair, pointed ears, and shining brown eyes.

"Hey there kiddo. How's it going in the magical world?" Puck asks floating in midair lazily while all the witchs and wizards stared in shock and fear.

"Take a look around Snow White." 'Harry' smirked before looking up at the enchanted ceiling in worry when he saw the sun beginning to set. 'Harry' handed Alex back to the woman he called Fox when he felt the first stab of pain.

"You should remove the glamour before you transform or it will hurt even more, young one." Titania said looking at 'Harry' worriedly when he grimaced.

"Good idea. Thanks grandma." 'Harry' said waving a hand over his face carelessly making his appearance change drastically. Instead of the small, scrawny fourteen year old boy with messy raven locks, a slight tan, and bright green eyes that were covered with his coca cola bottle glasses with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead that everyone knew him as, 'Harry' now was around six foot in height with well-toned muscles that made him look strong and athletic without looking overly buff or like a body builder, with a mane of wild blood red hair, slightly tanner skin, eyes that were a darker green color, and no scar on his forehead. The sun sank just as 'Harry' and the still nameless red headed woman that he had hugged earlier screamed in pain as their bodies began changing, 'Harrys' cloths ripping during the transformation. When they finished screaming the sun had sunk completely and the stone statues roared and turned into real flesh and bone gargoyles, wings and all. All of the Hogwarts students stared in shock as 'Harry' and the unknown red head also turned into gargoyles through their screams of pain and the rips of 'Harrys' clothing.

"We need to find a way to make that less painful or else I'm gonna end up having a stroke from the pain one of these days." The unknown red head said shaking her head bemusedly after letting out her roar that showed that she was now a gargoyle with a gargoyle that looked like 'Harry' nodding in agreement.

"Hey guys look. It's Mort!" A small green-brown colored gargoyle said pointing at the now gargoyle 'Harry' excitedly.

"Mort you bastard! Why'd you run off like that when we were in our stone sleep?" A female gargoyle with long brown red hair, warm brown eyes and a lavender complexion, wearing loincloths over her 'unmentionables' much like the other woman, asks tackling 'Harry' in a hug and making every guy in Hogwarts and the visiting schools go green with envy, yes even some of the teachers.

"Sorry sis. I had to leave for school." 'Harry' said making all the witches and wizards jaws drop further while the guys let out sighs of relief.

"Alright Angela. Get off of your brother before you suffocate him by accident." An amused womans voice says making Angela yelp and jump off of 'Harry'.

"Excuse me but who are you people and why is Mr. Potter a gargoyle?" Albus Dumbledore asks standing and looking at the mismatched group of people curiously.

"Our apologizes. We were too excited about seeing Mort or 'Harry' as you call him that we forgot to introduce ourselves. My name is David Xanatos, Mort's uncle-in-law, this is my son Alex and my wife Fox (He was interrupted by the unknown red head growling and saying "Hurt my sister or nephew and I'll kick your ass again.")." A tall man with an athletic build with Indian skin, brown eyes, and long brown hair pulled into a ponytail said introducing himself, the red head holding Alex, and Alex while pretending not to notice the unknown red heads threat even as he paled slightly.

"I am Lord Oberon, Lord of the third race and Avalon. Grandfather to Mort and Alex. This is my wife the lovely Queen Titania of Avalon, mother of Fox and Demona, grandmother of Alex and Mort. That is Alex's teacher and protector, Puck." The blue skinned man said introducing himself and the green skinned elven-like woman on his arm elegantly before simply pointing to a still floating Puck who merely waved lazily. All of the Purebloods, most Half-bloods, and all the adults paled drastically at that.

"I'm Detective Elisa Maza of Manhattan New York. This is my mom, Diane, my dad, Peter, my little sister, Beth, and my little brother, Derek aka Talon." An indian-african American woman with a moderately swollen stomach, deep coco skin, long bluish-black hair, and deep brown eyes while introducing herself, a medium height woman of Nigerian descent with black hair and blue eyes, a tall man of Indian descent with grey hair and brown eyes, a medium height woman with deep brown skin, short black hair, and warm brown eyes, and a tall male with short blackish fur, white-yellow eyes, pointed ears, and large black wings.

"I am Police Chief Maria Chavez of the 23rd Precinct, Elisa's boss, and this is my daughter Helena Chavez (A/N I didn't know the daughters' real name as it was never mentioned so I made one up)." An average height woman with pale skin, short brown hair, and piercing green eyes said introducing herself and a small baby in her arms that was barely a few months old but already had tufts of dark brown-black hair and deep brown-green eyes.

"We are the Manhattan Clan. I am the leader, Goliath. This is our former leader, Hudson, our culinary expert, Broadway, our second-in-command, Brooklyn, our technology genius, Lexington, my daughter and the craftiest of us, Angela, my wife, Elisa, Diane, Peter, Alex, Fox, Talon, David, Beth, Lord Oberon, Queen Titania, Puck, Hyena, Wolf, Coyote, Dingo, Jackal, Captain Chavez, Helena, Mort, and….Demona." Goliath said surprising all but the original clan and Elisa with the names that were said. (I am not describing all of them so just look them up yourselves.)

"Hullo. I'm Demona although I have lots of aliases such as 'Demon of the Night', 'Demon of Death', 'Angel of the Night', 'Angel', 'Dominique Destine', 'Red Death', 'Red Demon', and the one most of you know me for, 'Lily Evans'. This is my son 'Harry' or Mort as I originally named him. To answer the questions before they start, yes, I am a gargoyle, no, I am not dead as you can see, yes, Mort is really my son, no, I did not abandon him, yes, James is really dead, no, he wasn't a gargoyle as well, yes, he knew I was a gargoyle at nighttime, no, I didn't put him under a spell or love potion, no, he didn't put me under one seeing as how they wouldn't work, yes, Lord Oberon and Queen Titania are my parents, yes, Fox is my sister, no, she isn't a gargoyle, yes, she and Alex have some fae magic, yes, I have fae magic, no, it's not like regular magic, yes, Mort has fae magic as well, no, we won't use it on anyone unless provoked, no, I'm not an imposter or someone disguised using polyjuice or some glamour spell, no, they won't work on me cause I'm part fae and a gargoyle, no, polyjuice doesn't work on Mort either, no, I didn't change his name to 'Harry', and no, I won't try to kill him or anyone else here unless they give me a damn good reason too. Anymore questions and, no, I'm not reading your minds, no, I won't answer questions about mine or Mort's heritage, no, gargoyles don't really eat humans, no, I won't tell anyone how me and Mort survived the killing curse, and no, I won't answer questions about gargoyle nature or gargoyles in general right now. Is that everything?" Demona asks looking around the Hall quizzically while the rest of the group fought valiantly to fight their snickers before giving in and snickering heartily, chuckling, or outright laughing at the red headed gargoyle woman.

"Hey ya punks. I'm Hyena and I'm Mort's girlfriend." Hyena said before cackling loudly at the looks on everyone else's faces.

"We're Mort's friends and bodyguards, despite his protests. I'm Hyena's brother Jackal. These three are Wolf, Coyote 2.0, and Dingo. Anyone wanna get at the squirt they're going to have to get past us." Jackal said causing 'Harry' to scowl.

"This squirt can, has, and will kick your butt, runt, and that's after everyone else gets done with you. You should know not to call me any nicknames when around your sister or the others." 'Harry' retorted with a smirk making Jackal pale when he noticed the sickly sweet smile Hyena was sending him.

"Oh brother dearest. What did I tell you about tormenting _my_ boyfriend? If you want a boyfriend then get your own." Hyena said with an obviously fake smile on her face as she sauntered over to 'Harry', took his arm and wrapped it around her slim waist while Jackal tried to stutter out a response of some kind through his flaming cheeks and glaring at the grinning gargoyle he was supposedly protecting. 'Harry' merely grinned wider as he wrapped his wings around the girl that was barely two years older than him. (I know she's older than that originally but this is my story so shut the hell up.)

"My threat still stands, hyena girl, hurt my son and you won't live long enough to regret it. And you Mort Radian Destine, I find out you did something unsavory to your girlfriend here and you won't forget the lesson I'll teach you for the future, seeable and not." Demona said glaring at the couple which made the two snort.

"Yeaaahhh-no. Did you forget the fact that you basically beat manners, respect, etiquette, ecteria, ect, into my skull? I'm not going to do anything that she doesn't want me too." 'Harry' said rapping his head with his fist to emphasize his point.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Demona muttered to the others making them snicker was too busy snuggling into 'Harrys' chest to do anything more than glare at the red haired gargoyle female.

"WHAT ARE THESE FILTHY HALFBREED CREATURES DOING IN A _SCHOOL_?" Dolores Umbridge shouts glaring hatefully at the gargoyles and Avalonins.

"We could ask you the same thing! You look to be part toad after all." Hyena said glaring at the pink clad woman from her place snuggled up to 'Harry'.

"You shouldn't say that, Hyena. One of my best friends happens to have a pet toad and we wouldn't want to insult it after all." 'Harry' said smirking at the girl enfolded in his wings who cackled while most of Hogwarts stared at 'Harry' in shock and everyone else were trying desperately to stifle their laughter but a few snorts and giggles got out here and there.


	3. Starting to read

Gargoyles and Hogwarts Reads

By: Sybil Henninger

(It just had to be done sometime right? So why not me? AU and Crossover. Fourth year, Umbitch, and Bashing Oh My!)

"And people say that you have no sense of humor." Neville Longbottom said grinning over at the famous gargoyle, not the least bit surprised cause he caught 'Harry' after curfew a few times, was told the whole story, and visited 'Harry' over in Manhattan a few times with his grandmother.

"I do have a sense of humor; most people just don't understand it." 'Harry' retorted calmly while smirking over at the slightly chubby boy.

"Are we going to read these books or not?" Fudge asks getting irritated.

"What books?" Broadway asks confused.

"Books on what my life would've been like if mom hadn't have found me and took me away from the Dursleys." 'Harry' (who I will officially be calling Mort from now on.) says waving a taloned hand dismissively while the rest of the group looked angry for some reason.

"That's an invasion of your privacy!" Angela and Demona shout in protest.

"What else is new? Besides. Other than the first chapter or two most of the crap in that book didn't happen up until I go to Hogwarts and even then it's butchered and tailored. Let's just see what would have happened if mom hadn't have found me on that business trip of hers." Mort said dismissively making the others quiet down and murmur in agreement with a few mutinous remarks here and there.

"Fine. Where do we sit Mort?" Elisa asks after sighing in defeat.

"Over at the Gryffindor table I suppose." Mort said shrugging before leading the way to the red and gold table. Neville scooted over to make room for Mort whereas most of the other Gryffindors scooted as far away from the entourage as they could, some even going to sit near friends from other houses. On the same note, most of Mort's friends from other houses came over and sat by the entourage at the Gryffindor table while shooting those that had scooted away from Mort death glares.

"Hem hem. **Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Chapter One. The-Boy-Who-Lived."** Umbridge read aloud.


End file.
